Things I learned along the way, by Tina Simson

We are at the end of another year of Wellspring. Our participants are summing up their  experiences in projects that represent their journey, and their theology. Through these efforts they willingly share their deepest selves with each other in the circles of trust we have created together. We sit  in a nest where the shy soul emerges with one last voice. I also take this time to reflect on my year as a facilitator and as a partner on the same road searching for god.

So this is what I know right now…

The more spiritual I become, the more imperfect I am. I thought this would be different. I expected to be a paragon, meditating everyday, being kind all the time, sort of basking in a glow worthy of those saints from my childhood.  But I'm not that. I make wrong choices, I'm impatient with others, I often doubt love will really cure all and some days my spiritual practice consists of playing Gin Rummy on the computer. But somehow all that is OK,  because being worthy is overrated and all the universe really asks of  me is to stay open to my own heart. So I laugh more and that brings me closer to god.

I also learned that if I want a direct route to the divine, all I have to do is turn and look straight at that which scares me the most. I've spent years taking the back roads, meandering around with this spiritual teacher and that practice, looking for peace and transcendence, trying to convince myself I was safe in an unsafe world. But everything dies, and if I stand in that reality, all is illuminated. And if  I'm lucky friends and family show up right when you need them.

Wellspring calls us to be in covenant with one another, connected to our deepest values. It calls us to listen intentionally to ourselves and others. In this way, we evolve to become our best selves and offer promise to humankind. This is no small thing, it's not merely a group of folks who meet every other week and grapple with theology. It's connection, where life sneaks in and fills the spaces between us with compassion and truth and we live the joy of just  being human together.

With sincere gratitude to each member of my group, and blessings to all…

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